Some Things Never Change
by Reader4077
Summary: Post war Story. The war has been over for a year, but the gang is up to its old tricks. Read and review!
1. Reunions

Hawkeye dumped his suitcase on the bed and surveyed the room around him. It was a nice room, and he nodded in appreciation. It was certainty a whole lot better than what he had dealt with at the 4077th. While The Swamp had grown to become home, it had not been the nicest place to live. Except for the people. The war had been over for a year, but Hawkeye knew that he would never forget the people had formed a family with. He smiled to himself as he remembered some of the crazier things he and BJ had done. But his amusement faded as he though of the man he had roomed with and had grown to be a very dear friend. Hawkeye decided that it was time to go down to the bar and drink a toast to remembered friends and to all of people from the 4077th, wherever they may be.

Hawkeye was at the bar and on his second martini. He sipped it cautiously, tasting a small sip. He smiled appreciatively of the good drink – so much better than the rot gut he used to drink… Hawkeye stopped himself from following that train of thought. He had spent too much time in the previous year comparing his life to that of the 4077th. No matter what he did, his thoughts always seemed to return to Korea. Hawkeye frowned down at his martini, swirling it in his hands. That's when he heard it – surrounded by a crowd of doctors who were also there for the medical conference tomorrow, he heard that unmistakable laugh. He knew it because he had heard it so many times during that year in hell. Hawkeyed scanned the room, looking for the source of the sound. Finally, he located it. There in the back corner, reading a book was his room mate and dear friend, BJ Hunnicutt. Hawkeye gaped in pure astonishment. Sitting _there_ in the same room as him! Hawkeye's mind scrambled to process this sudden revelation. Then he broke into a wide smile, mentioned for the bar tender to fill his now empty martini glass, and when it was full, he took a large gulp then headed towards the table in the back.

As Hawkeye approached the table where BJ was sitting, he couldn't help but smile when he saw the book that BJ was reading. In BJ's hands was a copy of "The Rooster Crowed at Midnight." His was friend was staring at the last page with a smile on his face. "Good Lord!" thought Hawkeye, "he _still_ has the ridiculous looking mustache!" Hawkeye stood there for a moment, before finally breaking the silence and announcing his presence.

"So, who did it?" BJ looked up startled. Then his eyes found Hawkeye, and his smile grew impossibly wide.

"Hawk!" BJ put down his book and stood up to embrace his friend. Hawkeye returned the hug then gave BJ a playful push.

"Hey Beej." Hawkeye said. He could not keep the smile from his face. Man, was it good to see Beej! BJ's smile was just as big though, and they were starting to draw attention from the other doctors. BJ motioned for Hawkeye to sit down.

"So, who did it?" Hawkeye asked again, eyeing the book on the table. He really was curious to know who the murderer was. The whole camp had read that book, but the last page had been missing and they had never been able to figure out who the murderer was. BJ laughed.

"You'll never believe it." BJ said and laughed as he pushed the book towards Hawkeye. Hawkeye picked up the book and read,

"A hush fell over the drawing room as Inspector Langley lit his pipe and said,' I can now reveal to you the identity of the murder,' Inspector Langley said as he lit his pipe. 'The killer is…" Hawkeye hurriedly turned the page, now really curious to know who the murder was. Avery Updike" Hawkeye smiled as he set the book down. After all this time it was great to finally have that mystery solved. Then he looked up and saw BJ sitting there with this goofy grin and ridiculous mustache and for a moment he found himself transported back to the Officer's Club at the 4077th. He shook his head to clear the image then smiled at BJ.

"So how ya been Beej?" He asked leaning slightly forward to be able to hear over the noise of the crowd.

"I've been good Hawk. I've been spending a lot of time with Peg and Erin. Erin's so big. I think I've got a picture somewhere…" Hawkeye smiled as BJ dug around in his pockets. Some things never changed. "Here it is!" BJ finally found what he was looking for, and proudly thrust the photograph across the table for Hawkeye to see. Hawkeye picked up the picture and found himself confronted by the smiling faces of his friend, Peg and Erin.

"They're beautiful Beej." Hawkeye said, handing the picture back to BJ. "Erin sure has grown."

"Yeah…." BJ half sighed. He seemed lost in thought for a moment. He snapped himself out of it though and asked,

"So what about you Hawk? What have you been doing?"

"I've been helping Dad out with his practice." Hawkeye smiled. "You know, getting Crap Apple Cove to stick out their tongues and say 'Ah!'" BJ couldn't help but smile at the reminder of that last dinner the 4077th had had together as a whole group before everyone had started going home.

"That's great Hawk! And I told you it wouldn't be goodbye!" BJ couldn't resist that not so subtle 'I told you so.' Both of them laughed.

"Yeah, who knew we would actually end up at one of these things?"

"Really!" Both of them smile and they talked for the rest of the night until the bar tender finally kicked them out at closing time. So reluctantly BJ and Hawkeye bid each other goodnight, but made places to meet each other for the seminar the next day.


	2. Tricks

"Hey! Hawk!" Hawkeye scanned the room, then finally found BJ who was waving at him to get his attention. BJ pointed to the seat beside him that he had saved. Hawkeye smiled and made his way to this friend and sat down just as the lights in the auditorium began to dim.

"Cutting it a little close, weren't you?" BJ leaned over and whispered.

"There was a slow poke on the back nine" Hawkeye whispered back. BJ smiled to himself as he turned his attention back towards the front. Some things never changed. Up on stage Robert Harwell, the chief of staff at Boston Mercy stood up and approached the podium.

"I want to thank you all for coming her today. Today we have a special treat fro all of you. Our speaker for this session is none other than my chief of thoratic surgery," BJ and Hawkeye shot looks at each other. It couldn't be! "Charles Winchester III!" Hawkeye and BJ groaned and sank down in their seats. From behind the curtain, Charles Emerson Winchester III walked out and approached the podium to polite applause. He shook Robert's hand then approached the microphone. Hawkeye leaned over before Charles began to speak and whispered to BJ.

"What do you say we have some fun with jolly old Charlie?" Hawkeye asked, a gleam in his eyes. BJ looked over at Hawkeye, caught the gleam and gave a devilish smile in response. Very quietly, they left their seats and snuck up the aisle and out the back. The entered the lobby and stood off to the side, quietly plotting their fun and laughing. They were about to leave to pull of their mischief when suddenly Hawkeye grabbed BJ and pulled him back into the shadows.

"What….?" BJ began, but Hawkeye quickly shushed him and pointed. There, heading across the lobby was Margaret Houlihan. Both of them had to stifle their laughter as she slipped in the back.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Hawkeye asked. BJ nodded.

"Oh yeah." Giggling, the pair slipped out of the lobby to exact little revenge on their old nemeses. Some things never changed.


	3. Deja Vu

Charles was furious. Sometime during his talk, someone had managed to sneak into his room, stole all of his things, and replaced them with a female's. Fuming, he headed to the office of the man who was in charge of this convention. He barely restrained himself form banging on the door, and took a moment to compose himself. A Winchester did not lose his temper and make a fool of himself in front of others. Taking a deep breath, he carefully knocked on the door.

"Come!" came a voice from within. Charles opened the door.

"I would like to complain that…." Charles trailed off. Sitting there, in front of him behind the desk was Sherman T Potter. Charles stared at him for a moment out of pure surprise. Potter raised an eyebrow.

"Well, what do you want Winchester?" Charles stuttered for a moment then seemed to remember why he had come.

"Sir…" He began, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Potter held up a finger.

"Come!" The door was banged open by a very furious Margaret Houlihan.

"I want to complain about…." Then she too was shocked into silence at the man behind the desk. "Colonel!" she finally said. "And Major Winchester! It is good to see you both again."

"Margaret."

"Major." There was silence for a moment before Potter finally cleared his throat.

"Well, I believe that both of you wanted to complain about something. Darned if I don't have the strangest sense of déjà vu…" Potter trailed off, but he had reminded both Charles and Margaret whey they were angry. Charles leaned down to put his hands on Potter's desk and said angrily,

"Sir, I would like to complain that someone _broke_ into MY room and removed _all_ of my personal effects and replaced them with some females! My privacy hasn't been this violated since I lived in that hell hole called The Swamp!" Here, Margaret broke in.

"The same thing happened to me sir! Someone broke into my room and replaced my things with what I now suspect are Major Winchester's things!"

"Well, there you go then! You can either exchange your belongings or swap rooms. Problem solved." Potter smiled at both of them.

"No, problem not solved!" Charles burst in. "I want you to find the hooligans that did this and I want them brought to justice!" Potter rolled his eyes upward as if to ask 'Why me?' then said

"Look, Winchester. In case you've forgotten, there are over 500 doctors and 400 nurses here. The odds of finding the party responsible are slim." Here Charles looked ready to interrupt, but Potter stopped him with a glare. Rising half out of his chair and leaning towards Charles he continued.

"And may I remind you that we are no longer at the 4077th. I don't have that kind of power anymore and neither do you. Got it?" Charles seemed to be considering arguing, but upon seeing the look on Potter's face, he thought better of it.

"Sir," Margaret broke in. "Couldn't you just get a list of the people who are here? We could look at it and see if we recognize any names. You never know…." Potter sighed again then picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello? Potter here. Could one of you boys bring up a complete guest list? Okey-dokey. Thank you very much." He set the phone down then said "They're going to send somebody up" There was an awkward silence for a moment then Potter finally broke the silence.

"So, Margaret, how ya been?"

"Oh, I'm doing fine sir." They continued to talk, for a while catching up and informing the others what they had been up to in the year since the war. Then they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"That'll be the boy with the guest list. Come!" Potter called.

"You can just set that on the desk here. That'll be all.

"Yes, sir. I'll just set it on the desk here. Will that be all?" Radar O'Reilly said almost simultaneously with Potter.

"Well, I'll be! Radar, you scoundrel!" Potter got to his feet and vigorously shook Radar's hand. "How ya been son?"

"I'm fine sir. The farm is doing real good."

"_Well_. The farm is doing _well_." Charles interrupted, putting his head to his forehead and shaking his head.

"Oh shush!" Potter said.

"It's OK sir." Radar said.

"You know, you don't have to call me 'Sir' anymore, Radar. I'm not your commanding officer anymore. Call me Sherman, son."

"Yes sir. Uh... Sherman."

"Good lad. You'll get it." Potter said with a smile.

"Yes sir." Radar said. "Sir, while I was on my way over here, I took at the list and I think I might know who your jokers are."

"Oh?" Radar picked up the list and pointed two names out to Potter.

"See here sir?" Potter nodded, rolling his eyes with a smile.

"I'm too old for this." He said. Some things never changed.


	4. Still the Same

Radar set off down the hallway. He was smiling to himself. Almost all of the gang was here. Except for the Father…. Radar wondered how the father was doing. Last he had heard the good Father was working at a church for the deaf. Radar rounded the corner and realized that the Father wasn't the only one missing. Klinger too was part of the gang and was absent. Radar smiled as he thought of Klinger. He was rather surprised actually that Klinger never got his section eight after all of the crazy stunts he pulled. Or court marshaled. Radar was so lost in memories that he almost walked right past the door he was looking for. He quickly checked himself went back a few steps the shook his head at the outrageous laughter coming from behind the door. He knocked on the door, and heard the laughter subside a little then Hawkeye opened the door.

"Yes?" Then Hawkeye realized who was standing at his door. He gaped for a moment, his eyes almost bulging out of his sockets.

"Who is it Hawk?" BJ's voice called from inside the room. Hawkeye ignored his friend and enwrapped Radar in a huge hug.

"Sir?" Radar tried to speak, but as he was much shorter, his head was pressed into Hawkeye's chest and his words came out muffled.

"Sir?" Radar tried again, and Hawkeye finally released him. By this time, BJ had joined them, and he was grinning that goofy smile of his. When Hawkeye released him, BJ stepped forward to shake his hand.

"How ya been Radar?" BJ asked.

"I'm fine, sirs. The farm is doing well with Park Sung's help, and I got a job clerking. Somehow I ended up here."

"Hey that's great Radar!" BJ said. "But you know, you don't have to call us 'sir' anymore."

"I know that sirs. Force of habit I guess. But sirs, there is another reason I'm here. You two are in trouble I'm afraid sirs. Majors Winchester and Houlihan were pretty steamed about your prank and complained to the man in charge of this convention. He wants to see you two sirs."

"Just like old times, eh Beej?" Hawkeye asked with a smile. "We never could sneak anything by them, and we get sent to the principal's office, summoned by dear Radar here." BJ smiled.

"Well, shall we?"

"I believe we shall." Hawkeye and BJ motioned for Radar to lead the way. They followed him, all the time laughing and cracking jokes. Finally Radar stopped in front of a door and mentioned Hawkeye and BJ inside.

"In here sirs."

"Thanks, Radar," Hawkeye said.

"Hey, stick around Radar. When we're done being yelled at, we can go somewhere and catch up," BJ invited.

"Thank you sirs, I'd like that." Radar answered.

"Well, shall we go have some fun with Margaret and Charlie?" Hawkeye asked, eyes gleaming.

"I think we shall." BJ answered then opened the door, and motioned Hawkeye inside.

"Why thank you my good fellow." Hawkeye said, then stepped inside where he was confronted with Margaret and Charles glaring at him and BJ and Potter behind the desk, with barely concealed amusement.

"Hawkeye, BJ." Potter said. "Margaret and Winchester over here, have had their rooms broken into, and their personal effects replaced. I saw you two joker's names on the guest list and I thought to myself 'A HA!' Now what do you two have to say for yourselves?"

"_US_ Colonel?" Hawkeye asked innocently. "We would never do such a thing!

"Bull cookies! I know it was you two jokers! And you two jokers are going to apologize to Winchester and Margaret and move their things back!" However, at this point Winchester looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"_THESE two?_ WHAT are you two buffoons doing here?" Charles sputtered. Margaret seemed to be taking it better. She was hiding a smile behind her hands.

"It's a medical conference Charles." BJ said. "We're doctors. Why do _you_ think we're here?"

"Colonel, I want these two punished! I want them hung from yardarm!"

"What? Are we in the navy now?" Hawkeye quipped.

"You, shush! Look Winchester, it was just a little harmless fun. Let it go."

"But sir!" Charles looked ready to explode.

"Drop it Winchester! Or you'll have my boot prints on your rear end for a week! Got it?" Charles finally nodded.

"Good! Now, since we're all here, what do you say we all go down to the bar, have a drink and we can all catch up. Radar!"

"We're all going down to the bar and have a drink and catch up. Will you join us?"

"Yes sir, I would love to catch up with all of you."

"Son, I still don't know how you do that." Potter said, as Radar spoke almost simultaneously with him. Radar just smiled.

"Sir?"

"Oh, never mind." Potter smiled at his former company clerk. Rising, he went out the door, and was soon followed by Radar, Hawkeye, BJ, Charles, and Margaret who were soon laughing and arguing, almost as if the year that had happened since the war had never gone by. Potter shook his head. Some things never changed.

THE END


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